Summer’s winding down. The days are getting a little shorter, the weather’s getting cooler, and the leaves are changing colors. It’s time to say hello to fall—and hello to seasonal depression.

Your schedule is jam-packed, but the burnout is high. Maybe depression is trickling in, and you don’t have the energy or willpower to do the things you love. It’s easy to preach self-care as the cure-all, but what if you’re not ready to take the plunge? I suggest dipping a toe in. Here’s how:

I thought I had prepared for everything postpartum—therapy, a doula, honest conversations with my doctor, even symptom checklists on the fridge. But nine months in, I’ve realized how much no one talks about: the anxiety that sneaks in sideways, the unexpected rage, the strange grief, and even the lingering postpartum stink. This is my honest reflection on what I didn’t see coming, how I coped, and what I’m still learning.